And I’m not gonna take it back, and I’m not going to say I don’t mean that

Sunday musings…

I am a selfish person.

I have been realizing that when it comes to my “love” life I can never fully settle. A part of me holds back, keeping the walls up as far as the eye can see. And why not? Why risk the idea of letting someone in, to see the faults and findings? Why risk potential heartache and demolition of my heart?

Yet, what happens is that I allow only so far and then an abrupt halt happens. STOP. You can go no further. I cannot let you, I cannot change. I cannot allow this because I am not comfortable…but when I finally think about it all, it’s all clearly me. I am the one to put on the brakes, to stop it all. It looks like I don’t care, the doors slam shut and refuse to open.

I wonder though – if it’s because I’ve yet to really meet my match and if this is the case, then maybe I am not in the wrong for feeling this way. Why settle for something that isn’t right. Why give it all when I am so unsure about it. I want to be sure, because I only have one heart to give.

For credits and landmarks, see below
And I'm not gonna take it back, and I'm not going to say I don't mean thatShirt: *Fishy Strawberry* Io Sweater – Live Slow in Turquoise (s) / Fae Ericson *N21*
Jeans: *Fishy Strawberry* Moto Jeggings – Wash 3 (s) / Fae Ericson *N21*
Bracelet: Cae :: Wanderlust – London / Caelan Hancroft *TLC*
Shoes: Ingenue – Cecily Flats in Dove / Berry Doyle
Skin: Belleza – Tess in Sunkissed / Shyla Diggs *Skin Fair 2015*
Hair: [Entwined] – Daniele / VivienMarli *Shiny Shabby*
Bag: Apple Fall – Handbag & Scarf / Apple Fall *Shiny Shabby*
Pose: Apple Fall – Not for sale

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