I couldn’t settle on a title for the life of me today. It had been a week since I had taken pictures and I was struggling with trying to find some emotion and clarity on what exactly I wanted to take. With September rolling in, Arcade was about to hit the ground running and as usual there are so many things I wanted to take pictures of. Finally, after scrolling through Spotify I landed on the soundtrack to Lord of the Rings and settled…since really it’s been a common theme in this week’s endeavors of my own life.
I’ve been through many obstacles in my thirty plus years: divorce, death, loss of friendships, loss of loves, moving, jobless, etc. I have hit rock bottom and bounced back up. This week, the ever gracious world decided to toss me another ball and ask me what I would do with it. On the 27th of August, I was diagnosed with Stage One Non-Evasive Ductal Carcinoma. It’s a typical (they like to call common) form of breast cancer that is in SITU. Meaning, the tumor is in a place and not spreading. Good thing, right? I guess I was smart, having checked myself by doing a self-exam and noticed that something was off. I didn’t wait…The mass I felt was indeed something and they found another on the other side of the same breast, along with a smaller mass in my lymph nodes under my armpit. Luckily, the hidden one was benign, but the one I felt was not.
So, what do I do now? I will begin treatment…the long list of doctors visits will start, surgery will happen, then treatment after. I’m constantly reading on different things and what choices I have for my body. What type of treatment is best for me. I never in a million years thought I would sit here and say “I have cancer.” It’s absolutely unreal. Does it change the person I am? Maybe a little. Those little inconsistencies that used to irritate me I can toss them off. Things happen. I have to understand this and remain in high spirits. There will be days of course when I just will not be able to keep my head up, but I believe I have an amazing support group within my real life and second.
What does this mean for my Second Life?
I will continue on, not as furious and fast as before, but at a pace only I can do. I will have times when I won’t be able to log in or do an event, answer a question or make a pose. There will be days I want to take a picture, but I can’t sit up because it hurts. It hurts even now…I won’t lie about that. Biopsies suck balls. Haha.
But as a friend says to me all the time…it is what it is.
For credits and landmarks, see below ❤
Dress: =Zentih= Braces Dress in Pearl (s) / Miffyhoi Rosca *FaMESHed*
Lantern: +Half-Deer+ Wishing Lantern / Halogen Magic *The Arcade*
Necklace: +Half-Deer+ Wishing Lantern Necklace / Halogen Magic *The Arcade*
Antlers: +Half-Deer+ Wild at Heart Antlers / Halogen Magic *The Arcade*
Bracelet: +Half-Deer+ Petals and Pearls Bracelet (latte) / Halogen Magic *The Arcade*
Headpiece: +Half-Deer+ Flower Crown / Halogen Magic *The Arcade*
Skin: Glam Affair – Skye – Jamaica 02 H (RARE) / Aida Ewing *The Arcade*
Hair: .Olive. The Ocean Hair in Morning Coffee / Namineako *The Arcade*
Eyes: IKON Spectral Eyes – Brown / Ikon Innovia
Hands: Slink – Mesh Hands in Gesture / Siddean Munro
Pose: Le Poppycock / Olivia Lamonde