A lot of time I procrastinate. I realize this isn’t a good thing, and I know I shouldn’t. That there are so many hours in the day. Days in the week. Weeks in the month, before the end in which deadlines will come and those days that happen and I need to focus with those deadlines…it’s just at an end. But maybe one cannot come out of their procrastination. Maybe this is what and who they are. They are forever caught in this little bit of procrastination cycle that is bleating like forever baby sheep, wanting to grow out of it, but never really doing so.
You would think, for a woman who has done and did a few things, that this would be something that I could get by and move on from, but it’s embedded into my psyche it seems. As much as I tell myself that I will change for the better and do this or that, I can’t seem to pick up the motivation of that particular thing and push the procrastination effect away from me. I would hope that one day – I could just wake up and it would have left, leaving the front door open in its wake, but it’s still lingering in the hallway, bags packed – almost like it’s wanting me to beg for it to stay.
I wish I had the strength to yell and scream for it to go. Instead, I just walk back into my bedroom and close the door.